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00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:05,100
[♪]
2
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,550
How many?
3
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,630
Three.
4
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I'll take the same.
5
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I bet two.
6
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I'll see those two
and I'll raise you five.
7
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I better win today.
8
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I haven't had breakfast
in a week.
9
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Well, the best man always wins.
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Well, there's four.
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Hey, I need some more chips.
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[HUMMING]
13
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Hurry up with those chips!
14
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I'm getting sick and tired
of making chips for you guys.
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I gotta get busy
for my radio contest.
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Roses are red,
and violets are blue.
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Try Stix Fast Glue,
and you'll be stuck too!
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I got it!
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Oh, boy,
if I get the best slogan,
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I'll make a lot of money! Ya!
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Oh, you're crazy.
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You've been sending
those things in for weeks.
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Nobody ever wins those.
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Hey, why don't you play cards
and improve your mind?
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What there is of it.
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See the money I get...
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That's a chip. I call.
What do you got?
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Just four aces.
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And me with four kings again.
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Well, it must be
beginner's luck.
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I can't understand it.
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Every day
you have beginner's luck.
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Well, it's just
one of those things. You--
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MOE: Want to cheat, cheat fair.
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Anything I hate
is a crooked crook.
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Oh!
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Ha-ha!
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My beginner's luck. Ha-ha!
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[GRUNTING]
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[MOANING LOUDLY]
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What's the matter?
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His jaws are stuck.
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Good, now he can't
talk back to me.
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[MOANS]
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[BARKS]
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Wait a minute. Come here.
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Mm, mm, mm!
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Mmm! Mmm!
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Maybe it's something he ate?
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Sure, it's those pancakes.
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Oh! Not my pancakes.
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[MOANING]
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I admit the pancakes
ain't so good,
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but the syrup is delicious.
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[MOANING]
56
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I got it.
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Hot water always melts glue.
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Aw, wait a minute.
What's the matter with you?
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Ungrateful.
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There you are. Ahh!
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What do you think I am,
a lobster?
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Trying to boil me alive.
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Well, hot water always--
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Oh! Ow, ow!
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[SCREECHING]
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What's the matter with you?
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Didn't you know it was glue?
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Hey, porcupine, gimme a hand.
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Wait a minute. Sit down.
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Get a good grip on him.
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[SCREECHING]
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Well, that's that.
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[SCREECHING]
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What did you bite it off for?
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Ah, wait a minute, now. Hold it.
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[BANGING]
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Say "ah" and I'll have it out
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before you can say "ooh".
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Mmm.
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Ahh.
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I'll get it in the back.
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Lemme see this.
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Why didn't you
think of this, useless?
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[MOANING]
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[YELLING]
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There you are. Ther-- Waugh!
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Why didn't you hold still?
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Now I gotta start
all over again.
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I'll get that thing yet.
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00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:44,770
Yeah, if his teeth hold out.
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[MUMBLING] I'll do it myself!
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Ooh!
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I got it!
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You got it again. Oh!
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Oh, boy, I hope
I win this contest.
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It's a good thing it's time
Oh, boy, I hope
I win this contest.
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It's a good thing it's time
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for the Coffin Nail
Cigarette Program or I'd--
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ANNOUNCER [OVER RADIO]:
That concludes
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the musical portion
of our program.
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And now, ladies and gentlemen,
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the winner of the Coffin Nail
Cigarette Contest.
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The first prize of $50,000
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goes to Mr. Curly Howard
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of 1122 Lily Flower Terrace,
New York City.
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Who did you say?
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Curly Howard.
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Oh, thanks, toots. Yagh!
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That's you, ain't it?
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Certainly. Oh, boy, I'm rich.
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At last we can live
like gentlemen.
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Pie à la mode with beer chasers
three times a day.
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Let's go places
and buy things, come on!
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Oh, wait for the money man
now, heh-heh.
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A toast. A toast.
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A toast. Mmm!
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Roses are red, violets are blue.
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There's no glass for me,
so hotcakes to you.
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Nyuck, nyuck, Nyuck, nyuck!
120
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Hmm, this ain't
a bad looking dump!
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Reminds me of the penthouse
we were thrown out of.
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Send up a couple of cases
of champagne.
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Gentlemen,
the furnishings in this room
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are of great value.
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Now, for instance, uh,
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oh, this vase
is valued at $5,000.
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[ALL WHISTLE]
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And over here.
[ALL WHISTLE]
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And over here.
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This bed
goes back to Henry VIII.
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That's nothing.
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We had a bed that went back
to Sears Roebuck III. Hm!
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Always kidding. Heh-heh.
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And now, gentlemen,
if there is anything more,
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I will gladly serve you
personally. Good day.
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ALL: Oh!
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[SCREECHING]
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Oh, look, a rowboat.
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A rowboat? You're crazy.
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That's a horse trough.
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A horse trough, rowboat,
in a hotel?
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That's a bathtub, you imbeciles.
Go take a bath.
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But it ain't spring yet.
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Oh, yes, it is.
See the pretty grass.
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Where?
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Nyuck, nyuck, Nyuck, nyuck.
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You're next.
148
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But I had a bath.
149
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When?
150
00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:06,990
July 4th, 1910.
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00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:08,990
I was too young
to fight about it then.
152
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What are you gonna
do about it now?
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Take a bath.
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Oh!
155
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Well, a triple bed.
156
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Just what we need.
157
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I want the upper berth.
158
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You get less air.
159
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Yeah.
160
00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:23,290
How am I gonna get up there?
161
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Where's the ladder?
162
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I-- Oh!
163
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Mmm!
164
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Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
165
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,560
I oughta be able
to sleep up here for a week.
166
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This bed is so soft.
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Leave me a call for Wednesday,
will you?
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Nyuck, ny--
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[BOTH YELLING]
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Ow!
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I'll murder you for this.
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What happened?
173
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Get this Henry VIII off my neck.
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I don't know
what happened to you.
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Oh! Mmm!
176
00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:57,660
Hey, quiet, you guys.
177
00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:07,970
Oh!
178
00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:09,970
What are you trying to do,
break my neck?
179
00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:12,060
Your neck? Look at my hat.
It is broke.
180
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So it is. I'll fix it.
181
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Oh, thanks.
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00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,560
Oh!
183
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,070
Ooh!
184
00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:24,570
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
185
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,070
Oh, sodie pop!
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
186
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,520
Oh, uh, here.
187
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,580
[CLEARS THROAT]
188
00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:31,940
Uh...
189
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,530
Hear what I have to tell you.
190
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,530
He's gonna give you a tip.
191
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Oh, uh, here.
192
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:44,840
Hmm.
193
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,680
Oh, pardon me.
194
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,180
Could you tell me
which room is occupied
195
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,180
by the gentleman who won
the cigarette contest?
196
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,680
That room at the end, miss.
197
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,190
Thank you.
198
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,140
Gee, kids, we're in luck.
199
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:04,190
That 50,000 bucks
is down the hall,
200
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,690
just waiting for Mama.
201
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:07,060
Oh, that's swell.
202
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:08,650
Now, see if we've got it right.
203
00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:11,150
We pretend
we're three rich widows.
204
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,150
We meet the goofs,
205
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:13,620
make 'em propose to us
and marry 'em.
206
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,150
Right, then we get their dough
207
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,400
and give 'em the ozone.
208
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:18,490
That's what the hotel manager
will give us
209
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:19,830
if we don't get some dough.
210
00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:21,410
[SQUEAKING]
211
00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:22,410
GIRL: All right, Darwin.
212
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:23,910
Now, you go next door
and get lost,
213
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,500
and we'll come and find you.
214
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,500
Run along.
215
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:32,920
Hey, you better order some more.
216
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,310
We only got four left.
217
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,230
[CHUGGING]
218
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,190
[STOMACH GURGLING]
219
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,910
This bottle sounds flat.
220
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,500
Try another.
221
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,500
I'll sharpen this one up.
222
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:00,500
Nyuck, nyuck.
223
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,500
[SCREECHING]
224
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:05,370
[RUMBLING]
225
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,800
Boy, did I sharpen that bottle!
226
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,270
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
227
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,310
Moe, Moe, I got 'em, I got 'em!
228
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:28,390
I'm seeing gorillas.
229
00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:30,200
Don't look at me
when you say that.
230
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,280
CURLY: I got the DT's.
231
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,650
I'm seeing gorillas, I tell you.
232
00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:35,230
Oh, you're crazy.
233
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,230
The joint's haunted.
234
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,240
Look, the pants are walking.
235
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,740
Maybe it's ants.
236
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:40,740
What's going on around here?
237
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,660
His pants are walking
and he ain't in 'em.
238
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:44,740
Eh, you guys have been drinking.
239
00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:46,240
Pants are walking around.
240
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:46,250
Ow! My pants bit me!
Pants are walking around.
241
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:49,330
Ow! My pants bit me!
242
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:50,920
We'd better kill 'em.
243
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,500
Wait a minute. Are you insane?
244
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,510
That's that $5,000 gadget.
245
00:10:57,510 --> 00:10:59,010
Here's a board.
246
00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:00,010
Gimme that.
247
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:06,520
Why didn't you bring me
a softer board?
248
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,520
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
249
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,520
♪ Come in ♪
250
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,020
Gentlemen, this registered
letter just arrived.
251
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,520
I thought it might be important.
252
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,530
Thanks.
253
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,030
It's the prize money.
254
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:19,530
Why, what's happened here?
255
00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,530
My bed, my vase.
256
00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,830
Quiet, I can't hear myself read.
257
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:46,390
[MOANING]
258
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:49,390
They'll put us in jail.
259
00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:50,890
Did he say jail?
260
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:52,360
No, Yale.
261
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,900
He's got a brother in college
with two heads.
262
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,900
They got him in a bottle.
263
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,400
[MOANING]
264
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,900
What's the matter?
Is there something wrong?
265
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,870
No, no, the figures stagger me.
266
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,960
And so will your bill.
267
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,960
[DOOR SLAMS]
268
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:06,960
Hey, fellas!
269
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,040
Get up, you fellas.
270
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,550
This is a fine time
to take a nap.
271
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:11,550
Is he gone?
272
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:13,550
Yes, he's gone. We gotta do
something quick.
273
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,130
Hey! Hey.
274
00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:16,170
[YELLING]
275
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,640
They'll put us in jail for this.
276
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,470
We gotta get outta here, quick.
Come on.
277
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,480
There's something peculiar
about those men.
278
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,560
Keep your eye on them.
279
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,230
I'm going down
and make up a bill
280
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,310
they'll never forget.
281
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:28,260
All right, boss.
282
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,350
What are we gonna do now?
283
00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,350
I got it.
284
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,350
Give.
285
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,350
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
286
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,360
How?
287
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,450
CURLY:
Swell. How you doing? Ooh!
288
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,030
MAN: What was that?
289
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:51,000
Me no savvy. Me lone wolf.
290
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,920
Me toddle other way.
291
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,800
Ah! Whoa!
292
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,380
[ALL SHOUT]
293
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,430
Help!
294
00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,770
[BARKS]
295
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,110
Nya!
296
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:15,610
[SNARLS]
297
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:18,110
Hmm!
298
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,400
Ooh!
299
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,820
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
300
00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:27,820
What did you do now?
301
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:28,960
I just dotted his eye.
302
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,880
We'll see the manager
about this.
303
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,210
Now remember, girls,
we've gotta make 'em
304
00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:37,220
propose to us right away.
305
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:39,670
Couldn't we just
marry the money without them?
306
00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:42,340
Quiet, Cleopatra.
307
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,920
It's that darned
detective again.
308
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,420
He won't go away.
309
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,430
Oh, he won't, eh? Quick.
310
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:48,430
Man the buckets.
311
00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:49,810
[SHRIEKS]
312
00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:51,900
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
313
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,400
Are you ready?
314
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:56,430
Give.
315
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,160
[ALL SHRIEKING]
316
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,740
Gee, girls, we thought
it was somebody else.
317
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,240
Come on in.
318
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,240
Is this the way you always
receive your guests?
319
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,160
No. Honest, girls, we're sorry.
320
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,750
We're looking
for our pet monkey.
321
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,250
Have you seen him?
322
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,420
Oh, so that's what's
running around here.
323
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,500
Say, what's that monkey got
that I ain't got?
324
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,000
MOE: A longer tail.
325
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,260
Ya-ee.
326
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:20,840
Oh, I do hope he's not hurt.
327
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,840
He's the only
ray of sunshine left
328
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,600
in the lives
of three lonely widows.
329
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,180
He's the only happiness we have
330
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,440
with all our millions.
331
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,140
Did you say millions?
332
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:41,110
Yes, just a few,
and we're so, so lonely.
333
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:43,200
Oh, what you girls need
is a husband.
334
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,450
GIRLS [IN UNISON]:
Oh, this is so sudden, darling.
335
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,820
[GIGGLING]
336
00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:52,830
You mean you'll marry us?
With the millions?
[GIGGLING]
337
00:14:52,830 --> 00:14:54,830
You mean you'll marry us?
With the millions?
338
00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:55,830
[IN UNISON]: Yes.
339
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:56,960
It's a deal!
340
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,830
We're the monkeys you are
looking for.
341
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,420
Change those weeds
for some glad rags.
342
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,420
It won't take a minute.
We'll be right back.
343
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,420
If you change your mind,
344
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,920
we'll sue you for habeas corpus.
345
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,970
We're back in the money again.
346
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:09,420
Look at that monkey.
He's got the letter.
347
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,010
We better get it away from him
348
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,510
before those girls
find out we're broke.
349
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:14,510
[WINDOW SHUTS]
350
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,180
Well, we're rid of him.
351
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:19,770
Hurry up, girls, before those
suckers change their minds.
352
00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:22,270
[SQUEAKING]
353
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:24,270
Oh, what is it, Darwin?
354
00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:29,280
How do you like those chiselers,
double-crossing us?
355
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,160
Say, will I tell
that mug something.
356
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,750
We're gonna pay those guys
a visit, come on.
357
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:38,540
Open up.
358
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:39,620
They'll never open up, boss.
359
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,120
Let's use the fire escape.
360
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,120
Right.
361
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,720
It's the manager.
Let's give him a reception.
362
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,600
What I'll do to that guy
with the sugar bowl haircut.
363
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,390
Ready, give.
364
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,560
[SHRIEKING]
365
00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,640
Oh, why--
366
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,640
Jeez, the girls.
367
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,640
Oh, yes, it's us.
368
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,650
We're sorry, girls.
We didn't know it was you.
369
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,650
Oh, that's quite all right.
Heh-heh.
370
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,650
Gee, you're swell dames.
Give us a little kiss.
371
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:12,290
Why, certainly. Close your eyes.
372
00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:13,290
Oh!
373
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,210
[♪]